Peer Support is Like Falling

Standing in the door of a C-130 at 1,200 feet, you face an unforgiving reality: gravity doesn't negotiate. When human meets earth, earth wins. As a paratrooper, I learned that successful jumping isn't about conquering these forces—it's about following principles that work within them. Years later, doing peer support work, I discovered the same truth applies to helping others through their struggles.

Gravity is Real

Whether you're falling from an aircraft or supporting someone in crisis, certain principles govern the reality of what you're doing. In jumping, gravity will pull you down at 32 feet per second squared regardless of your feelings about it. The ground will be hard when you hit it. Fighting these facts doesn't change them—it just gets you hurt.

During a night jump, I learned this the expensive way. Despite all my training, I "reached" for the ground in those final moments, trying to grab control of my landing. I spent the next several weeks in a cast, a painful reminder that going rogue breaks things.

Peer support has its own version of gravity. People will feel pain. They will struggle. They will sometimes make choices we wouldn't make. These realities don't bend to our desire to fix everything quickly. Fighting them—rushing in with solutions, trying to control outcomes—often causes more damage than the original problem.

Following Principles, Not Impulses

Good paratroopers practice the art of falling within the boundaries of physics. We learn body position, timing, and technique not to defy gravity but to work with it safely. The principles exist because they align with reality, not because someone thought they sounded good.

The same applies to peer support. We practice active listening, maintain boundaries, and resist the urge to rescue because these principles work within the reality of human nature and healing processes. When we follow them, people land safely. When we don't—when we reach for quick fixes or try to control someone else's process—things get broken.

Trust the Training

Every successful jump relies on following proven principles rather than improvising in the moment. Your instincts might tell you to reach for the ground, but your training teaches you to trust the process and land properly. The principles work because they account for forces bigger than our individual will.

In peer support, our instincts often tell us to fix, rescue, or rush the process. But the principles of good support—listening without judgment, staying present during difficulty, allowing people to find their own solutions—work because they align with how people actually heal and grow.

The Ground Always Wins

Whether you're falling from 1,200 feet or sitting with someone in crisis, the fundamental forces at play don't change based on your intentions. Gravity will pull. Pain will hurt. Healing will take time. Going rogue against these realities doesn't make you heroic—it gets stuff broken.

The art lies in practicing your craft within these non-negotiable boundaries. When you respect the principles that govern the work, both you and the people you're supporting have a much better chance of landing safely.

Sometimes the most important thing we can remember is that we don't get to rewrite the rules of gravity or healing. We just get to choose whether we'll work with them or against them.

Ben O